how long are the final stages of mesothelioma

fanny hillby john cleland part 9 my gentleman had now put on his clothes andrecomposed himself, when giving me a kiss, and placing me by him, he sat himself downas gingerly as possible, with one side off the cushion, which was too sore for him tobear resting any part of his weight on. here he thank'd me for the extreme pleasurei had pro- cured him, and seeing, perhaps, some marks in my countenance of terror andapprehension of retaliation on my own skin, for what i had been the instrument of hissuffering in his, he assured me, that he was ready to give up to me any engagement i mightdeem myself under to stand him, as he had

done me, but if that proceeded in my consentto it, he would consider the difference of my sex, its greater delicacy and incapacityto undergo pain. rehearten'd at which, and piqu'd in honour, as i thought, not to flinchso near the trial, especially as i well knew mrs. cole was an eye-witness, from her standof espial, to the whole of our transactions, i was now less afraid of my skin than of hisnot furnishing me with an oppor- tunity of signalizing my resolution.consonant to this disposition was my answer, but my courage was still more in my head,than in my heart; and as cowards rush into the danger they fear, in order to be the soonerrid of the pain of that sensation, i was entirely pleas'd with his hastening matters into execution.he had then little to do, but to unloose the

strings of my petticoats, and lift them, togetherwith my shift, navel- high, where he just tuck'd them up loosely girt, and might beslipt up higher at pleasure. then viewing me round with great seeming delight, he laidme at length on my face upon the bench, and when i expected he would tie me, as i haddone him, and held out my hands, not without fear and a little trembling, he told me hewould by no means terrify me un- necessarily with such a confinement; for that though hemeant to put my constancy to some trial, the standing it was to be completely voluntaryon my side, and therefore i might be at full liberty to get up whenever i found the paintoo much for me. you cannot imagine how much i thought myself bound, by being thus allow'dto remain loose, and how much spirit this

confidence in me gave me, so that i was evenfrom my heart careless how much my flesh might suffer in honour of it.all by back parts, naked half way up, were now fully at his mercy: and first, he stoodat a convenient distance, de- lighting himself with a gloating survey of the attitude i layin, and of all the secret stores i thus expos'd to him in fair display. then, springing eagerlytowards me, he cover'd all those naked parts with a fond profusion of kisses; and now,taking hold of the rod, rather wanton'd with me, in gen- tle inflictions on those tendertrembling masses of my flesh behind, than in any way hurt them, till by degrees, hebegan to tingle them with smarter lashes, so as to provoke a red colour into them, whichi knew, as well by the flagrant glow i felt

there, as by his telling me, they now emulatedthe native roses of my other cheeks. when he had thus amus'd himself with admiring andtoying with them, he went on to strike harder, and more hard; so that i needed all my patiencenot to cry out, or complain at least. at last, he twigg'd me so smartly as to fetch bloodin more than one lash: at sight of which he flung down the rod, flew to me, kissed awaythe starting drops, and sucking the wounds eased a good deal of my pain. but now raisingme on my knees, and making me kneel with them straddling wide, that tender part of me, naturallythe province of pleasure, not of pain, came in for its share of suffering: for now, eyeingit wistfully, he directed the rod so that the sharp ends of the twigs lighted there,so sensibly, that i could not help wincing,

and writhing my limbs with smart; so thatmy contortions of body must neces- sarily throw it into infinite variety of posturesand points of view, fit to feast the luxury of the eye. but still i bore every thing withoutcrying out: when presently giving me another pause, he rush'd, as it were, on that partwhose lips, and round-about, had felt this cruelty, and by way of repara- tion, glewshis own to them; then he opened, shut, squeez'd them, pluck'd softly the overgrowing moss,and all this in a style of wild passionate rapture and enthusiasm, that ex- press'd excessof pleasure; till betaking himself to the rod again, encourag'd by my passiveness, andinfuriated with this strange taste of delight, he made my poor posteriours pay for the ungovernablenessof it; for now shewing them no quarter the

traitor cut me so, that i wanted but littleof fainting away, when he gave over. and yet i did not utter one groan, or angry expostulation;but in heart i resolv'd nothing so seriously, as never to expose myself again to the likeser- verities. you may guess then in what a curious picklethose soft flesh-cushions of mine were, all sore, raw, and in fine, ter- ribly clawedoff; but so far from feeling any pleasure in it, that the recent smart made me pouta little, and not with the greatest air of satisfaction receive the compliments, andafter-caresses of the author of my pain. as soon as my cloaths were huddled on in alittle de- cency, a supper was brought in by the discreet mrs. cole her- self, whichmight have piqued the sensuality of a cardinal,

accompanied with a choice of the richest wines:all which she set before us, and went out again, without having, by a word or even bya smile, given us the least interruption or confu- sion, in those moments of secrecy,that we were not yet ripe to the admission of a third to.i sat down then, still scarce in charity with my butch- er, for such i could not help consideringhim, and was more- over not a little piqued at the gay, satisfied air of his countenance,which i thought myself insulted by. but when the now necessary refreshment to me of a glassof wine, a little eating (all the time observing a profound silence) had somewhat cheer'd andrestor'd me to spirits, and as the smart began to go off, my good humour return'd accordingly:which alteration not escaping him, he said

and did everything that could confirm me in,and indeed exalt it. but scarce was supper well over, before achange so in- credible was wrought in me, such violent, yet pleasingly irk- some sensationstook possession of me that i scarce knew how to contain myself; the smart of the lasheswas now converted into such a prickly heat, such fiery tinglings, as made me sigh, squeezemy thighs together, shift and wriggle about my seat, with a furious restlessness; whilstthese itching ar- dours, thus excited in those parts on which the storm of dis- cipline hadprincipally fallen, detach'd legions of burning, subtile, stimulating spirits, to their oppositespot and cen- tre of assemblage, where their titillation rag'd so furiously, that i waseven stinging mad with them. no wonder then,

that in such a taking, and devour'd by flamesthat licked up all modesty and reserve, my eyes, now charg'd brimful of the most intensedesire, fired on my companion very intelligible sig- nals of distress: my companion, i say,who grew in them every instant more amiable, and more necessary to my urgent wishes andhopes of immediate ease. mr. barville, no stranger by experience tothese situa- tions, soon knew the pass i was brought to, soon perceiv'd my extreme disorder;in favour of which, removing the table out of the way, he began a prelude that flatter'dme with instant relief, to which i was not, however, so near as i imagin'd: for as hewas unbuttoned to me, and tried to provoke and rouse to action his unactive torpid machine,he blushingly own'd that no good was to be

expected from it unless i took it in handto re-excite its languid loitering powers, by just refreshing the smart of the yet recentblood-raw cuts, seeing it could, no more than a boy's top, keep up without lashing. sensiblethen that i should work as much for my own profit as his, i hurried my compliance withhis desire, and abridging the ceremonial, whilst he lean'd his head against the backof a chair, i had scarce gently made him feel the lash, before i saw the object of my wishesgive signs of life, and presently, as it were with a magic touch, it started up into a noblesize and distinction indeed! hastening then to give me the benefit of it, he threw medown on the bench; but such was the re- fresh'd soreness of those parts behind, on my leaningso hard on them, as became me to compass the

admission of that stupen- dous head of hismachine, that i could not possibly bear it. i got up then, and tried, by leaning forwardsand turning the crupper on my assailant, to let him at the back avenue: but here it waslikewise impossible to stand his bearing so fiercely against me, in his agitations andendeavours to enter that way, whilst his belly battered directly against the recent sore.what should we do now? both intolerably heated; both in a fury; but pleasure is ever inventivefor its own ends: he strips me in a trice, stark naked, and placing a broad settee-cushionon the carpet before the fire, oversets me gently, topsy-turvy, on it; and handling meonly at the waist, whilst you may be sure i favour'd all my dispositions, brought mylegs round his neck; so that my head was kept

from the floor only by my hands and the velvetcushion, which was now bespread with my flowing hair: thus i stood on my head and hands, supportedby him in such manner, that whilst my thighs clung round him, so as to expose to his sightall my back figure, including the theatre of his bloody pleasure, the centre of my forepart fairly bearded the object of its rage, that now stood in fine condition to give mesatisfaction for the injuries of its neighbours. but as this posture was certainly not theeasiest, and our imaginations, wound up to the height, could suffer no delay, he first,with the utmost eagerness and effort, just lip-lodg'd that broad acorn-fas- hion'd headof his instrument; and still frenzied by the fury with which he had made that impression,he soon stuffed in the rest; when now, with

a pursuit of thrusts, fiercely urg'd, he absolutelyoverpower'd and absorb'd all sense of pain and uneasiness, whether from my wounds behind,my most untoward posture, or the oversize of his stretcher, in an infinitely predominantdelight; when now all my whole spirits of life and sensation, rushing impetuously tothe cock-pit, where the prize of pleasure was hotly in dispute and clustering to a pointthere, i soon receiv'd the dear relief of nature from these over-violent strains andprovocations of it; harmoniz- ing with which, my gallant spouted into me such a potent over-flow of the balsamic injection, as soften'd and unedg'd all those irritating stings ofa new species of titillation, which i had been so intolerably madden'd with, and restor'dthe fer- ment of my senses to some degree

of composure.i had now achiev'd this rare adventure ultimately much more to my satisfaction than i had bespokenthe nature of it to turn out; nor was it much lessen'd, you may think, by my spark's lavishpraises of my constancy and complaisance, which he gave weight to by a present thatgreatly surpassed my ut- most expectation, besides his gratification to mrs. cole.i was not, however, at any time, re-enticed to renew with him, or resort again to theviolent expedient of lashing nature into more haste than good speed: which, by the way,i conceive acts somewhat in the manner of a dose of spanish flies; with more pain perhaps,but less danger; and might be necessary to him, but was nothing less so than to me, whoseappetite wanted the bridle more than the spur.

mrs. cole, to whom this adventurous exploithad more and more endear'd me, looked on me now as a girl after her own heart, afraidon nothing, and, on a good account, hardy enough to fight all the weapons of pleasurethrough. attentive then, in consequence of these favourable conceptions, to promote eithermy profit or pleasure, she had special regard for the first, in a new gallant of a verysingular turn, that she pro- cur'd for and introduced to me.this was a grave, staid, solemn, elderly gentleman whose peculiar humour was a delight in combingfine tresses of hair; and as i was perfectly headed to his taste, he us'd to come constantlyat my toilette hours, when i let down my hair as loose as nature, and abandon'd it to himto do what he pleased with it; and accordingly

he would keep me an hour or more in play withit, drawing the comb through it, winding the curls round his fingers, even kissing it ashe smooth'd it; and all this led to no other use of my person, or any other liberties whatever,any more than if a distinction of sexes had not existed.another peculiarity of taste he had, which was to present me with a dozen pairs of thewhitest kid gloves at a time: these he would divert himself with drawing on me, and thenbiting off the fingers' ends; all which fooleries of a sickly appetite, the old gentleman paidmore liberally for than most others did for more essential favours. this lasted till aviolent cough, seizing and laying him up, deliver'd me from this most innocent and insipidtrifler, for i never heard more of him after

his first retreat.you may be sure a by-job of this sort interfer'd with no other pursuit, or plan of life; whichi led, in truth, with a modesty and reserve that was less the work of virtue than of exhaustednovelty, a glut of pleasure, and easy circumstances, that made me indifferent to any engagementsin which pleasure and profit were not eminently united; and such i could, with the less impatience,wait for at the hands of time and for- tune, as i was satisfy'd i could never mend my pennyworths,having evidently been serv'd at the top of market, and even been pamper'd with dainties:besides that, in the sacrifice of a few momentary impulses, i found a secret satisfaction inrespecting myself, as well as preserving the life and fresh- ness of my complexion. louisaand emily did not carry indeed their reserve

so high as i did; but still they were farfrom cheap or abandon'd tho' two of their adventures seem'd to con- tradict this generalcharacter, which, for their singularity, i shall give you in course, beginning firstwith emily's: louisa and she went one night to a ball, thefirst in the habit of a shepherdess, emily in that of a shepherd: i saw them in theirdresses before they went, and nothing in nature could represent a prettier boy than this lastdid, being so fair and well limbed. they had kept together for some time, when louisa,meeting an old acquaintance of hers, very cordially gives her companion the drop, andleaves her under the protection of her boy's habit, which was not much, and of her discretion,which was, it seems, still less. emily, finding

herself deserted, sauntered thoughtless abouta-while, and, as much for coolness and air as anything else, at length pull'd off hermask and went to the sideboard; where, eyed and mark'd out by a gentleman in a very handsomedomino, she was accosted by, and fell into chat with him. the domino, after a littlediscourse, in which emily doubt- less distinguish'd her good nature and easiness more than herwit, began to make violent love to her, and drawing her in- sensibly to some benches atthe lower end of the masquerade room, for her to sit by him, where he squeez'd her hands,pinch'd her cheeks, prais'd and played with her fine hair, admired her complexion, andall in a style of courtship dash'd with a certain oddity, that not comprehending themystery of, poor emily attributed to his falling

in with the humour of her disguise; and beingnaturally not the cruellest of her profes- sion, began to incline to a parley on thoseessentials. but here was the stress of the joke: he took her really for what she appear'dto be, a smock-fac'd boy; and she, forgetting her dress, and of course ranging quite wideof his ideas, took all those addresses to be paid to herself as a woman, which she preciselyowed to his not thinking her one. however, this double error was push'd to such a heighton both sides, that emily, who saw nothing in him but a gentleman of distinction by thosepoints of dress to which his disguise did not extend, warmed too by the wine he hadply'd her with, and the caresses he had lavished upon her, suffered herself to be persuadedto go to a bagnio with him; and thus, losing

sight of mrs. cole's cautions, with a blindconfidence, put herself into his hands, to be carried wherever he pleased. for his part,equally blinded by his wishes, whilst her egregious simplicity favour- ed his deceptionmore than the most exquisite art could have done, he supposed, no doubt, that he had lightedon some soft simpleton, fit for his purpose, or some kept minion broken to his hand, whounderstood him perfectly well and enter'd into his designs. but, be that as it would,he led her to a coach, went into it with her, and brought her to a very handsome apartment,with a bed in it; but whether it was a bagnio or not, she could not tell, having spokento nobody but himself. but when they were alone together, and her enamorato began toproceed to those extremities which instantly

discover the sex, she remark'd that no descriptioncould paint up to the life the mixture of pique, confusion and disappointment that ap-peared in his countenance, joined to the mournful exclamation: "by heavens, a woman!" this atonce opened her eyes, which had hitherto been shut in downright stupidity. however, as ifhe had meant to retrieve that escape, he still continu'd to toy with and fondle her, butwith so staring an alteration from extreme warmth into a chill and forced civility, thateven emily herself could not but take notice of it, and now began to wish she had paidmore regard to mrs. cole's premon- itions against ever engaging with a stranger. andnow and excess of timidity succeeded to an excess of confidence, and she thought herselfso much at his mercy and discretion, that

she stood passive throughout the whole progressof his pre- lude: for now, whether the impressions of so great a beauty had even made him forgiveher her sex, or whether her appear- ance of figure in that dress still humour'd his firstillu- sion, he recover'd by degrees a good part of his first warmth, and keeping emilywith her breeches still unbuttoned, stript them down to her knees, and gently impellingher to lean down, with her face against the bed-side, placed her so, that the double way,between the double rising behind, presented the choice fair to him, and he was so fairlyset on a mis-direc- tion, as to give the girl no small alarms for fear of losing a maidenheadshe had not dreamt of. however, her complaints, and a resistance, gentle, but firm, check'dand brought him to himself again; so that

turning his steed's head, he drove him atlength in the right road, in which his imagination having probably made the most of those resemblancesthat flatter'd his taste, he got, with much ado, to his journey's end: after which, heled her out himself, and walking with her two or three streets' length, got her a chair,when mak- ing her a present not any thing inferior to what she could have expected,he left her, well recommended to the chairman, who, on her directions, brought her home.this she related to mrs. cole and me the same morning, not without the visible remains ofthe fear and confusion she had been in still stamp'd on her countenance. mrs. cole's remarkwas that her indescretion proceeding from a constitu- tional facility, there were littlehopes of any thing curing her of it, but repeated

severe experience. mine was that i could notconceive how it was possible for mankind to run into a taste, not only universally odious,but absurd, and impossible to gratify; since, according to the notions and experience ihad of things, it was not in nature to force such immense disproportions. mrs. cole onlysmil'd at my ignorance, and said nothing towards my undeception, which was not affected butby ocular demonstration, some months after, which a most singular accident furnish'd me,and which i will here set down, that i may not return again to so disagreeable a subject.i had, on a visit intended to harriet, who had taken lodgings at hampton-court, hireda chariot to go out thither, mrs. cole having promis'd to accompany me; but some indis-pensable business intervening to detain her,

i was obliged to set out alone; and scarcehad i got a third of my way, before the axle-tree broke down, and i was well off to get out,safe and unhurt, into a publick-house of a tolerable handsome ap- pearance, on the road.here the people told me that the stage would come by in a couple of hours at farthest;upon which, determining to wait for it, sooner than lose the jaunt i had got so far forwardon, i was carried into a very clean decent room, up one pair of stairs, which i tookpossession of for the time i had to stay, in right of calling for sufficient to do thehouse justice. here, whilst i was amusing myself with lookingout of the window, a single horse-chaise stopt at the door, out of which lightly leap'd twogentlemen, for so they seem'd, who came in

only as it were to bait and refresh a little,for they gave their horse to be held in readiness against they came out. and presently i heardthe door of the next room, where they were let in, and call'd about them briskly; andas soon as they were serv'd, i could just hear that they shut and fast- ened the dooron the inside. a spirit of curiosity, far from sudden, sincei do not know when i was without it, prompted me, without any parti- cular suspicion, orother drift or view, to see what they were, and examine their persons and behaviour. thepartition of our rooms was one of those moveable ones that, when taken down, serv'd occasionallyto lay them into one, for the con- veniency of a large company; and now, my nicest searchcould not shew me the shadow of a peep-hole,

a circumstance which probably had not escap'dthe review of the parties on the other side, whom much it stood upon not to be deceivedin it; but at length i observed a paper patch of the same colour as the wainscot, whichi took to conceal some flaw: but then it was so high, that i was obliged to stand upona chair to reach it, which i did as softly as possibly, and, with a point of a bodkin,soon pierc'd it. and now, applying my eye close, i commanded the room perfectly, andcould see my two young sparks romping and pulling one another about, entirely, to myimagination, in frolic and innocent play. the eldest might be, on my nearest guess,towards nine- teen, a tall comely young man, in a white fustian frock, with a green velvetcape, and a cut bob-wig.

the youngest could not be above seventeen,fair, ruddy, compleatly well made, and to say the truth, a sweet pretty stripling: hewas--i fancy, too, a country-lad, by his dress, which was a green plush frock and breechesof the same, white waistcoat and stockings, a jockey cap, with his yellowish hair, longand loose, in natural curls. but after a look of circumspection, whichi saw the eldest cast every way round the room, probably in too much hurry and heatnot to overlook the very small opening i was posted at, especially at the height it was,whilst my eye close to it kept the light from shining through and betraying it, he saidsomething to his companion and presently chang'd the face of things.for now the elder began to embrace, to press

and kiss the younger, to put his hands intohis bosom, and give him such manifest signs of an amorous intention, as made me concludethe other to be a girl in disguise: a mistake that nature kept me in countenance for, forshe had certainly made one, when she gave him the male stamp.in the rashness then of their age, and bent as they were to accomplish their project ofpreposterous pleasure, at the risk of the very worst of consequences, where a discoverywas nothing less than improbable, they now proceeded to such lengths as soon satisfiedme what they were. the criminal scene they acted, i had the patienceto see to an end, purely that i might gather more facts and certainly against them in mydesign to do their deserts instance jus- tice;

and accordingly, when they had readjustedthemselves, and were preparing to go out, burning as i was with rage and indignation,i jumped down from the chair, in order to raise the house upon them, but with such anunlucky impetuosity, that some nail or ruggedness in the floor caught my foot, and flung meon my face with such violence that i fell senseless on the ground, and must have lainthere some time e'er any one came to my relief: so that they, alarmed, i suppose, by the noiseof my fall, had more than the necessary time to make a safe retreat. this they effected,as i learnt, with a precipitation nobody could account for, till, when come to myself, andcompos'd enough to speak, i acquainted those of the house with the whole transaction ihad been evidence to.

when i came home again, and told mrs. colethis adven- ture, she very sensibly observ'd to me that there was no doubt of due vengeanceone time of other overtaking these miscre- ants, however they might escape for the present;and that, had i been the temporal instrument of it, i should have been at least put toa great deal more trouble and confusion that i imagined; that, as to the thing itself,the less said of it was the better; but that though she might be suspected of partiality,from its being the common cause of woman-kind, out of whose mouths this practice tended totake something more than bread, yet she protested against any mixture of passion, with a declarationextorted from her by pure regard to truth; which was that whatever effect this infamouspassion had in other ages and other countries,

it seem'd a peculiar blessing on our air andclimate, that there was a plague-spot visibly imprinted on all that are tainted with it,in this nation at least; for that among numbers of that stamp whom she had known, or at leastwere universally under the scandalous sus- picion of it, she would not name an exceptionhardly of one of them, whose character was not, in all other respects, the most worthlessand despicable that could be, stript of all the manly virtues of their own sex, and fill'dup with only the worst vices and follies of ours: that, in fine, they were scarce lessexecrable than ridiculous in their monstrous in- consistence, of loathing and condemningwomen, and all at the same time apeing all their manners, air, lips, skuttle, and, ingeneral, all their little modes of affectation,

which be- come them at least better than theydo these unsex'd male- misses. but here, washing my hands of them, i re-plungeinto the stream of my history, into which i may very properly ingraft a terrible sallyof louisa's, since i had some share in it myself, and have besides engag'd myself torelate it, in point of countenance to poor emily. it will add, too, one more exampleto thousands, in confirmation of the maxim that when women get once out of compass, thereare no lengths of licen- tiousness that they are not capable of running.one morning then, that both mrs. cole and emily were gone out for the day, and onlylouisa and i (not to mention the house-maid) were left in charge of the house, whilst wewere loitering away the time in looking through

the shop windows, the son of a poor woman,who earned very hard bread indeed by mending stockings, in a stall in the neighbourhood,offer'd us some nosegays, ring'd round a small basket; by selling of which the poor boy ekedout his mother's maintenance of them both: nor was he fit for any other way of livelihood,since he was not only a perfect changeling, or idiot, but stammer'd so that there wasno understanding even those sounds his half- dozen, at most, animal ideas prompted himto utter. the boys and servants in the neighbourhoodhad given him the nick-name of good-natured dick, from the soft simpleton's doing everythinghe was bid at the first word, and from his naturally having no turn to mischief; then,by the way, he was perfectly well made, stout,

clean-limb'd, tall of his age, as strong asa horse and, withal, pretty featur'd; so that he was not, absolutely, such a figure to besnuffled at neither, if your nicety could, in favour of such essentials, have dis- pens'dwith a face unwashed, hair tangled for want of comb- ing, and so ragged a plight, thathe might have disputed points of shew with e'er a heathen philosopher of them all.this boy we had often seen, and bought his flowers, out of pure compassion, and nothingmore; but just at this time as he stood presenting us his basket, a sudden whim, a start of waywardfancy, seiz'd louisa; and, without consulting me, she calls him in, and beginning to examinehis nosegays, culls out two, one for herself, another for me, and pulling out half a crown,very currently gives it him to change, as

if she had really expected he could have changedit: but the boy, scratching his head, made his signs explaining his in- ability in placeof words, which he could not, with all his struggling, articulate.louisa, at this, says: "well, my lad, come up-stairs with me, and i will give you yourdue," winking at the same time to me, and beckoning me to accompany her, which i did,securing first the street-door, that by this means, together with the shop, became whollythe care of the faithful house- maid. as we went up, louisa whispered to me thatshe had con- ceiv'd a strange longing to be satisfy'd, whether the general rule held goodwith regard to this changeling, and how far nature had made him amends, in her best bodilygifts, for her denial of the sublimer intellectual

ones; begging, at the same time, my assistancein procuring her this satisfaction. a want of complaisance was never my vice, and i wasso far from opposing this extravagant frolic, that now, bit with the same maggot, and mycuriosity conspiring with hers, i enter'd plum into it, on my own account.consequently, as soon as we came into louisa's bed- chamber, whilst she was amusing him withpicking out his nosegays, i undertook the lead, and began the attack. as it was notthen very material to keep much measures with a mere natural, i made presently very freewith him, though at my first motion of meddling, his surprize and confusion made him receivemy advances but aukwardly: nay, insomuch that he bashfully shy'd, and shy'd back a little;till encouraging him with my eyes, plucking

him playfully by the hair, sleeking his cheeks,and forwarding my point by a number of little wantonness, i soon turn'd him familiar, andgave nature her sweetest alarm: so that arous'd, and beginning to feel him- self, we could,amidst all the innocent laugh and grin i had provoked him into, perceive the fire lightingin his eyes, and, diffusing over his cheeks, blend its glow with that of his blushes. theemotion in short of animal pleasure glar'd distinctly in the simpleton's countenance;yet, struck with the novelty of the scene, he did not know which way to look or move;but tame, passive, simpering, with his mouth half open in stupid rapture, stood and tractablysuffer'd me to do what i pleased with him. his basket was dropt out of his hands, whichlouisa took care of.

i had now, through more than one rent, discoveredand felt his thighs, the skin of which seemed the smoother and fairer for the coarseness,and even dirt of his dress, as the teeth of negroes seem the whiter for the surroundingblack; and poor indeed of habit, poor of understanding, he was, however, abundantly rich in personaltreasures, such as flesh, firm, plump, and replete with the juices of youth, and robustwell-knit limbs. my fingers too had now got with- in reach of the true, the genuine sensitiveplant, which, instead of shrinking from the touch, joys to meet it, and swells and vegetatesunder it: mine pleasingly informed me that matters were so ripe for the discovery wemeditated, that they were too mighty for the confinement they were ready to break. a waistbandthat i unskewer'd, and a rag of a shirt that

i removed, and which could not have cover'da quarter of it, revealed the whole of the idiot's standard of distinction, erect, infull pride and display: but such a one! it was posi- tively of so tremendous a size,that prepared as we were to see something extraordinary, it still, out of measure, sur-pass'd our expectation, and astonish'd even me, who had not been used to trade in trifles.in fine, it might have answer- ed very well the making a show of; its enormous head seemed,in hue and size, not unlike a common sheep's heart; then you might have troll'd dice securelyalong the broad back of the body of it; the length of it too was prodigious; then therich appendage of the treasure-bag beneath, large in proportion, gather'd adn crisp'dup round in shallow furrows, helped to fill

the eye, and complete the proof of his beinga natural, not quite in vain; since it was full manifest that he inherit- ed, and largelytoo, the prerogative of majesty which distin- guishes that otherwise most unfortunate condition,and gives rise to the vulgar saying "a fool's bauble is a lady's play- fellow." not whollywithout reason: for, generally speaking, it is in love as it is in war, where longestweapon carries it. nature, in short, had done so much for him in those parts, that she perhapsheld herself acquitted in doing so little for his head.for my part, who had sincerely no intention to push the joke further than simply satisfyingmy curiosity with the sight of it alone, i was content, in spite of the temptation thatstar'd me in the face, with having rais'd

a may-pole for another to hang a garland on:for, by this time, easily reading louisa's desires in her wishful eyes, i acted the commodiouspart and made her, who sought no better sport, significant terms of encouragement to go through-stitchwith her adventure; intimating too that i would stay and see fair play: in which, indeed,i had in view to humour a new-born curiosity, to observe what appearances active naturewould put on in a natural, in the course of this her darling operation.louisa, whose appetite was up, and who, like the indus- trious bee, was, it seems, notabove gathering the sweets of so rare a flower, tho' she found it planted on a dunghill, wasbut too readily disposed to take the benefit of my cession. urg'd then strongly by herown desires, and em- bolden'd by me, she presently

determined to risk a trial of parts with theidiot, who was by this time nobly inflam'd for her purpose, by all the irritations wehad used to put the principles of pleasure effectually into motion, and to wind up thesprings of its organ to their supreme pitch; and it stood accordingly stiff and straining,ready to burst with the blood and spirits that swelled it . . . to a bulk! no! i shallnever forget it. louisa then, taking and holding the fine handlethat so invitingly offer'd itself, led the ductile youth by that master-tool of his,as she stept backward towards the bed; which he joyfully gave way to, under the incitationsof in- stinct and palpably deliver'd up to the goad of desire.stopped then by the bed, she took the fall

she lov'd, and lean'd to the most, gentlybackward upon it, still hold- ing fast what she held, and taking care to give her cloathsa convenient toss up, so that her thighs duly disclos'd, and elevated, laid open all theoutward prospect of the treasury of love: the rose-lipt overture presenting the cock-pitso fair, that it was not in nature even for a natural to miss it. nor did he, for louisa,fully bent on grappling with it, and impatient of dalliance or delay, directed faithfullythe point of the battering-piece, and bounded up with a rage of so vora- cious appetite,to meet and favour the thrust of insertion, that the fierce activity on both sides effectedit with such pain of distention, that louisa cry'd out violently that she was hurt beyondbearing, that she was killed. but it was too

late: the storm was up, and force was on herto give way to it; for now the man-machine, strongly work'd upon by the sen- sual passion,felt so manfully his advantages and superiority, felt withal the sting of pleasure so intolerable,that madden- ing with it, his joys began to assume a character of furious- ness whichmade me tremble for the too tender louisa. he seemed, at this juncture, greater thanhimself; his counten- ance, before so void of meaning, or expression, now grew big withthe importance of the act he was upon. in short, it was not now that he was to be play'dthe fool with. but, what is pleasant enough, i myself was aw'd into a sort of respect forhim, by the comely terrors his motions dressed him in: his eyes shooting sparks of fire;his face glowing with ardours that gave another

life to it; his teeth churning; his wholeframe agitated with a raging ungovernable impetuosity: all sensibly betraying the formidablefierceness with which the genial instinct acted upon him. butting then and goring allbefore him, and mad and wild like an over-driven steer, he ploughs up the tender furrow, allinsensible to louisa's com- plaints; nothing can stop, nothing can keep out a fury likehis: with which, having once got its head in, its blind rage soon made way for the rest,piercing, rending, and breaking open all obstructions. the torn, split, wounded girl cries, struggles,invokes me to her rescue, and endeavours to get from under the young savage, or shakehim off, but alas! in vain: her breath might as soon have still'd or stemm'd a storm inwinter, as all her strength have quell'd his

rough assault, or put him out of his course.and indeed, all her efforts and struggles were manag'd with such disorder, that theyserv'd rather to entangle, and fold her the faster in the twine of his boisterous arms;so that she was tied to the stake, and oblig'd to fight the match out, if she died for it.for his part, instinct-ridden as he was, the expressions of his animal passion, partakingsomething of ferocity, were rather worrying than kisses, intermix'd with eager ravenouslove-bites on her cheeks and neck, the prints of which did not wear out for some days after.poor louisa, however, bore up at length better than could have been expected; and thoughshe suffer'd, and greatly too, yet, ever true to the good old cause, she suffer'd with plea-sure and enjoyed her pain. and soon now, by

dint of an en- rag'd enforcement, the brute-machine,driven like a whirl- wind, made all smoke again, and wedging its way up, to the utmostextremity, left her, in point of penetration, nothing to fear or to desire: and now,"gorg'd with the dearest morsel of the earth," (shakespeare.)louisa lay, pleas'd to the heart, pleas'd to her utmost capa- city of being so, withevery fibre in those parts, stretched almost to breaking, on a rack of joy, whilst theinstrument of all this overfulness searched her senses with its sweet excess, till thepleasure gained upon her so, its point stung her so home, that catching at length the ragefrom her fur- ious driver and sharing the riot of his wild rapture, she went whollyout of her mind into that favourite part of

her body, the whole intenseness of which wasso fervously fill'd, and employ'd: there alone she existed, all lost in those de- lirioustransports, those extasies of the senses, which her winking eyes, the brighten'd vermilionof her lips and cheeks, and sighs of pleasure deeply fetched, so pathetically ex- press'd.in short, she was now as mere a machine as much wrought on, and had her motions as littleat her own command as the natural himself, who thus broke in upon her, made her feelwith a vengeance his tempestuous tenderness, and the force of the mettle he battered with;their active loins quivered again with the violence of their conflict, till the surgeof pleasure, foaming and raging to a height, drew down the pearly shower that was to allaythis hurricane. the purely sensitive idiot

then first shed those tears of joy that attendits last moments, not without an agony of delight and even almost a roar of rapture,as the gush escaped him; so sensibly too for louisa, that she kept him faithful company,going off, in consent, with the old symptoms: a delicious delirium, a tremulous convulsiveshudder, and the critical dying oh! and now, on his getting off, she lay pleasure- drench'd,and re-gorging its essential sweets; but quite spent, and gasping for breath, without othersensation of life than in those exquisite vibrations that trembled yet on the stringsof delight, which had been too intensively touched, and which nature had been so intenslystirred with, for the senses to be quickly at peace from.as for the changeling, whose curious engine

had been thus successfully played off, hisshift of countenance and gesture had even something droll, or rather tragi-comic init: there was now an air of sad repining foolishness, super- added to his natural one of no-meaningand idiotism, as he stood with his label of manhood, now lank, unstiffen'd, be- calm'd,and flapping against his thighs, down which it reach'd half-way, terrible even in itsfall, whilst under the dejec- tion of spirit and flesh, which naturally followed, his eyes,by turns, cast down towards his struck standard, or piteously lifted to louisa, seemed to requireat her hands what he had so sensibly parted from to her, and now ruefully miss'd. butthe vigour of nature, soon returning, dissipated the blast of faintness which the common lawof enjoyment had subjected him to; and now

his basket re-became his main concern, whichi look'd for, and brought him, whilst louisa restor'd his dress to its usual condition,and afterwards pleased him perhaps more by taking all his flowers off his hands, andpaying him, at his rate, for them, than if she had embarrass'd him by a present thathe would have been puzzled to account for, and might have put others on tracing the motivesof. whether she ever return'd to the attack iknow not, and, to say the truth, i believe not. she had had her freak out, and had prettyplentifully drown'd her curiosity in a glut of pleasure, which, as it happened, had noother consequence than that the lad, who retain'd only a confused memory of the transaction,would, when he saw her, for some time after,

express a grin of joy and familiarity, afterhis idiot manner, and soon forgot her in favour of the next woman, tempted, on the reportof his parts, to take him in. end of part 9�